GTOPG: Oh, that pass; Pens Win 5-3 (and some non-Pens items)

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

There are a lot of guys in the NHL who can rush the puck into the offensive zone on a power play.  And there are a lot of guys who can make tape-to-tape cross ice passes.  And there are even a lot of guys who can catch those passes on their strong-side and bury it in one smooth motion.

But when your team has the three best guys at doing each of those things, you get this.



It's not the most beautiful goal of the season, but it is illustrative of what having a healthy Sidney Crosby can do.  Look at the 4 Buffalo players in that clip.  They're either mesmerized or paralyzed by Sid and he's not even in a scoring position.  They know he's going to pass.  Sid knows he's going to pass.  Ryan Miller knows he's going to pass.  Still, they can't do anything about it.

And that's what the other 7 Eastern Conference playoff teams are going to be thinking in two weeks.  They could play their best hockey.  They could get all-world goaltending.  They could have a perfect game-plan.  But there's a good chance it will all be for nothing because of one simple truth.  They can't do anything about this.

More thoughts on the Pens and much more after the jump...

- This game is why we weren't that bothered by the back-to-back losses to the Islanders.  Those Isles games had the feel of a Mystery, Alaska game.  The Pens were the big bad Rangers.  The Islanders were the pesky young kids who just lost their virginity.  The Pens didn't want to be there and were only playing because someone told them they had to.  They expected to win, but looked a little frustrated when the clearly overmatched opponent tried just a little too hard for what should have been an exhibition.

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXHIBITION!!!"

- We've come a long way with Matt Niskanen.  What a welcome addition back to the lineup.

In non-Penguins news...

- The Caps get their best player back tonight as Nick Backstrom returns from a concussion.  We hope that they lose, of course, but this is good news.

- Pitt won the CBI tournament, the equivalent of hitting the Mega Match number last night and getting $2.  It's easy to make fun of that tournament, but we'll leave that to someone else.  Jamie Dixon did the right thing by accepting this invite and then coaching it as if it was the NCAA tournament.  The fans clearly bailed on Pitt this year.  Dixon didn't.

This is what college basketball coaches should look like, and most of them do.

- Sean Payton is appealing his season long suspension.  I will be rooting for him, mostly because I don't care at all about bounties but also because Washington county's own Roger Goodell is becoming a dictator.  He probably drinks his own urine for energy.  Here's a really interesting story about Goodell's hypocritical decision to penalize the Cowboys and Redskins for breaking no rules.

- Jason Whitlock writes like Ron Cook if Ron Cook boasted about "speaking truth to power" (Ron Cook boasts about "dictating non sequiturs to his assistant") but this column about Kobe Bryant makes a lot of sense.

- Let's just start the playoffs already.  Go Pens.

GTOG's Top 12 Posts of 2011

By GTOG Staff

In the spirit of the end-of-year-tradition of letting our earlier work this year do our work for us now, here are 12 of our top posts/moments, etc. from the past year.  There are a lot more than 12 here.  Basically, they're things we think you may be interested in reading again.

Thank you, everyone, for a great 2011.

12. Summing up Steigerwald-Lambert-gate

Ryan Lambert from Puck Daddy went toe-to-toe with John Steigerwald about Alex Ovechkin, women with mustaches, and some really unfunny reference to Sidney Crosby being a vampire.  We shamelessly injected ourselves as the voice of reason.

11. Steelers Lose the Super Bowl

Aaron Rodgers' epic performance, Rashard Mendenhall's devestating fumble, and why we weren't that upset.

Top 10 after the jump...

10. Sushi with Hilary Duff

The song speaks for itself.

9. The Crosby Concussion

If something about Crosby's concussion is on our Top lists for 2012, then we won't have a blog anymore. We have no desire to re-read any of these posts, and can't imagine why you would want to, but for the historical record, here is:

- Our Winter Classic recap
- Get To Our Postgame from the Hedman hit, where we wrote, "One negative from this game is only one point from Sid."
- Crosby's initial concussion diagnosis
- The Sequelae

8. The Rebecca Black podcast

About as thorough of an analysis of a bad song as you can get.  It's Friday.

7. Pushing the Capitals' buttons 

Tampa sweeps the Caps ... but the Caps win the Cup in Pittsburgh a few months later

6. Ted Leonsis' Wars on Hearing and Counting

Speaking of the Caps, Ted Leonsis took great offense when we criticized his arena scoreboard for being too loud.  What ensued was pettiness of a degree that could only be achieved by Mr. Leonsis.  For the record, it's probably still way too loud.  Unleash the fury.

A few months later, we asked whether he fudged sellout numbers for something called the Baltimore Hockey Classic.

5. Never Say Never movie review

What happens when two grown men sit alone in an abandoned movie theater watching a documentary about Justin Bieber?

4. The Pens are eliminated

After a regular season nightmare, the Pens went out with a whimper against Tampa and we had all angles covered, with instant reaction and a classic GTOPG.  With a few more days to decompress, we graded the forwards and the defense.

3. When the Walls Came Down

Nothing brings out the raw emotion at GTOG quite like the Bachelor and Bachelorette.  We were there for every contrived twist and turn, whether it was Brad declarative sentences or Ashley's insufferable insecurities.

Brad's season

- Previewing the Ladies of Brad Womack
- Artistry spoke for GTOG while Finesse was embedded with real ladies
- Brad wants so badly to be affectionate with you. Ok.
- When the show moves to some exotic location for repelling, we asked, What is the Island?
- The Women Told All, we may have been the only people listening.
- Wall-to-wall coverage of the Finale, with a preview podcast, a reaction podcast filled with some of the rawest emotion you've ever heard, and some final follow up thoughts on Chantal's heartbreak.

Ashley's season

- Recapping the second episode
- We lose our composure after we are overcome with raw emotion on this podcast
- Written reaction and raw emotion that can only be summoned by one of the most shocking episodes ever

- A scrapbook chronicling JP's fairy tale and Ben's devastation
- A raw emotion podcast from the maternity ward

2. Penn State

On Penn State, Joe Paterno, and how we react to scandals

1. GTOG Nation Welcomes Artistrette

Nothing says 2011 like the arrival of the newest member of GTOG's family.

Happy New Year!

BREAKING NBA NEWS: Someone implies that Chris Paul can read

By Finesse

Absolutely enormous NBA news today, as Ric Bucher cites a "source familiar with [Chris] Paul's thinking" and reports that Chris Paul has been following the news and does, in fact, understand that the New York Knicks do not have a lot of good players that they can trade for him.

According to Bucher, the "source familiar with Paul's thinking" said:

"He has not asked for a trade to the Knicks because he knows the Knicks don't have anything to offer.  He wouldn't insult the Hornets by doing that."

Via an exclusive text message to GTOG this afternoon, a source familiar with the bounds of human etiquette and decency reports that yes, the Hornets are still insulted.

In other news, an individual living inside Kobe Bryant's head has confirmed that Kobe has received a copy of the new Collective Bargaining Agreement in the mail and plans on reading it at his leisure over the next two days.  This source would neither confirm nor deny earlier reports from a source familiar with a source familiar with the situation that Kobe received the copy of the CBA by email, as opposed to old fashioned mail.

GTOG's First Annual Heroes and Villains List

By GTOG Staff

During the 14 months of GTOG's existence, we've experienced our share of highs and lows.  We've seen GTOG become the most-visited website in Indonesia because of that country's obsession with Step Up 3-D; we've been called out on Twitter by the NBA player who organizes "Lapdance Tuesday;" we've spent entire mornings bombarding the Twitter accounts of ex-Bachelor contestants, to varying degrees of success; we've been shunned by the most unreadable reality TV blogger on the Internet; and we've recorded podcasts from hospital rooms.  Through it all, we made a list.  We checked it over once, briefly.  And if you're on it, we feel strongly about you, for better or worse.  If you're new to the site, consider this a primer of where our loyalties lie.  Without further adieu, and in no particular order, we bring you GTOG's heroes and villains of Year 1.

Read on for the full list of Heroes and Villains....

Heroes

Bob Pompeani - We've admired the well-coiffed KDKA sports anchor for nearly 30 years. We see a lot of ourselves in him.  So smart.  So steady.  So serviceable.  One day we did a light-hearted post about Pomp, and he took the time to let us know he enjoyed it.  All that talent, and a sense of humor to boot?  That's heroic.

Jamie Dixon - In a world where no blue-chippers stay in school anymore, he doesn't rely on blue-chippers.  In a city where Hurdle, Tomlin, and Bylsma live, he might be the best coach in town.  He rescues strangers from car accidents.  And forget Pitino and Calipari.  Nobody looks more like a basketball coach should look than Jamie Dixon.

Justin Bieber - If you're a fan of things that are excellent, then you probably already love Justin Bieber.  We like to think that we are at least partially responsible for his meteoric rise to stardom because we went to a theater packed with 6 people to take vigorous notes on his movie so we could give you this movie review.

Chris Harrison - No one gets more out of doing less than Chris Harrison.  He may conduct interviews without asking questions and he may get upstaged at his own job by a jeweler, but he brings the one thing GTOG respects the most: Consistency.  Witness the flawless execution:

Harrison's locker room on-set in Fiji.

Rick Malambri - Who is Rick Malambri?  Everything you need to know is in his dancing.  How does he do it?  Well, some people learn to dance.  Others are born to.  Why does he do it?  Because one move can set a whole generation free.  If that doesn't define "hero," we don't know what does.  And if you live in Southeast Asia and do a Google Image search for Rick Malambri, there's a good chance you're going to spend the afternoon reading recaps of Penguin games.

Polarizing figure in Jakarta.

Shawntel Newton - You already know she's attractive.  But did you also know that the former Bachelor contestant known to GTOG as the Comely Embalmer, AKA the Smoking Hot Undertaker, is one of the most down-to-earth Ladies you'll ever encounter?  Let's get #ShawntelYouShouldDateFinesse trending on Twitter.

Stan and Guy - Things that never should have happened: 1) KBL going away; 2) Brett Favre thinking, "nah, she'll never forward this to Deadspin" and 3) Stan and Guy getting at least 10 of their shows cancelled.  In an industry where most hosts are uninformed blowhards, these guys sweat Reasonableness.

Andray Blatche - He's 6'11," plays in the NBA and is the host of "Lapdance Tuesday."  In other words, he's our target demo.  And when we pondered what Ted's Take would be on Blatche going "hard n' the paint," he eloquently responded on Twitter, "why u wanna do all that."  So well put.

Huge fans.

Ames - Imagine if Gullibility had a baby with Naiveté, and the baby was home-schooled before suffering a severe concussion.  That's Ames.  He has an unparalleled depth of knowledge of things women don't care about, and is the inspiration for our newest refrigerator magnet, The Many Faces of Ames.

Clint Hurdle - Because he's a good manager, even if the Pirates haven't won in two weeks.

Paul Martin - Because we defend him.

Sheer Elegance - Because she did what no sane human being should ever do and watched an entire season of the Real Housewives of New York and wrote about it for us.  She's a better Mario-Adjective than we are [see below].

George and Randy! - These guys started reading GTOG before our parents did. We don't know them personally, but we feel like we do.  They're smart, loyal, they get the joke, and you know what?  They're our heroes.

Loyalty.

The Pensblog - Talk about commitment.  If every American applied themselves to the task at hand like these guys cover our Pittsburgh Penguins, we wouldn't be worried about the Chinese.  Consistently creative.  Consistently funny.  And consistently generous to certain upstart bloggers.

Villains

Adam Schefter - One year ago we were anti-Schefty because he played Bob Woodward and cited anonymous sources to report that a guy who everyone knew had blown out his ACL did, in fact, blow out his ACL.  This year, he's checking his email live on SportsCenter and incoherently shouting "Nnamdi Asomugha!"

Nnamdi Asomugha!!!!!!  Nnamdi Asomugha!!!!!

Ted Leonsis - Our position on Ted has been beaten into the ground, but we're flattered that he briefly left the front lines of the War on Hearing to take a shot at GTOG on his blog and on Puck Daddy.  There's only one thing left to say:

Are we sure that isn't Boyd Gordon?

Jaden Smith - When you're born with a golden spoon in your mouth but trade it in for a spoon made out of diamonds, that's inflammatory.  But when you choose to hitch your private luxury helicopter to the coattails of Justin Bieber and insert yourself repeatedly in his movie for no apparent reason, we have to draw the line.

"I can't reach Daddy because his pilot asked him to turn his phone off for the landing."

"That football coach Pitt hired" - If it wasn't for a Ron Cook Poem asking so pointedly, "Really, is it so wrong to give Haywood a chance?" then we would have absolutely no idea what this guy's name was.  He was hired on December 16th, Ron Cook pronounced him a great hire on December 17th, he was arrested for domestic violence on December 31st, and was fired on January 2nd.  He would have been more memorable if he had just lit a turd on fire on the steps of the Cathedral of Learning.

Face of the University.

William Gay - Are you a struggling NFL receiver?  Do you need a chance to unwind and recharge your batteries?  Spend some time on Gay Island.  It's always open, and, unfortunately, so are you.

Reality Steve - Where to begin.  Somehow this blowhard has amassed a huge following among Bachelor Nation.  We attribute this to the fact that he has some source that gives him Bachelor and Bachelorette "spoilers."  Forgive us, but we thought these shows were about the Journey, not the Destination.  Anyway, for a long time, we tried to post links to our recaps in his comments section.  Each time, he removed them.  Then, he solicited applications for guest bloggers to help make his website readable.  We put the past aside and volunteered our services.  He ignored us, and made his website worse as a result.  So we loaded up the flame thrower and napalmed all bridges between us.

Peter King - Ah, the self-indulgent author of Monday Morning Quarterback. First, thanks for all the good reporting you do.  But let's get something straight:  we don't care about what happened to you on your flight from Detroit to Dallas.  We don't care about what you put in your coffee this morning.  And we really don't care what you think about the New Jersey Devils.  But we know a website that may have a column for you to write.

Long Island - You brought out the worst that the NHL has to offer and then threw a nuclear bomb on top of it to give us one of the more unfortunate nights in Penguins' history.  You were apparently upset that 1) your goalie started a fight; 2) your goalie got his face shattered in one punch in said fight; 3) Brent Johnson ran up and down the Jersey Shore yelling, "One Shot, Bro!!!" and 4) the Penguins laughed about it because, well, it was hilarious.  Then you convinced yourselves that YOU were the victim.



Dale Tallon - One summer before it's time for the Penguins to try and extend Jordan Staal and Sidney Crosby, the Florida GM handed the not-prolific Tomas Fleischmann a 4 yr./$18 million contract.  Among other things.  Thanks.

Bentley - You know just how to talk to a Lady in an almost incoherent mumble. But that "narrating the present" technique can only work for so long when all you're offering is a "dot dot dot."  You do realize your daughter Cozy is going to one day be able to access the GTOG Bachelorette Recap archives in the U.S. Library of Congress, right?  Just saying.  [Are we putting Bentley in the Villains section and not the Heroes section so as not to infuriate our substantial female readership?  For you to decide.]

There, there.

Skype - Where were you when we were trying to record that Raw Emotion podcast in June?  We don't forget.

Petr Svoboda - Hello, Petr?  Oh, we're so sorry.  We didn't realize it was already 9 pm.  It's down to Detroit and Pittsburgh, is it Petr?  Oh, Jaromir will make his decision by Wednesday?  Is that a fact?  What's that?  You've lost track of his whereabouts?  Now additional teams with inferior - but right-handed - centers have entered the bidding?  Have you taken leave of your senses?  Petr?  Petr?  He hung up.

All of the Real Housewives of New York - We tried to watch this show. We really did. We thought that maybe, against the odds, we could find some of the Bachelor/Bachelorette magic in another absurd but satire-friendly reality show.  We made it through about 20 minutes of the first episode, we were horrified, and we both blacked out.  Neither of us know what happened, but we're still having night terrors, and and it's hard to talk about. 

ESPN - For making us watch hockey on NBC for at least the next 10 years.  For making poor Scott Burnside broadcast from his grandmother's living room.  For ignoring the Pirates.  For making Buccigross do "vlogumns."  For SportsCenter's free agent FRENZY!  For taking Jay Harris from Pittsburgh, but leaving Alby Oxenreiter behind.  By the way, this is a great read.

Rebecca Black - You had us when you pointed out that yesterday was Thursday.  To-day it is Friday.  Tomorrow is Saturday.  And Sunday comes afterwaaaards.  You lost us when you decided this is Your Moment.  But let's be clear: we'd love to have you on the podcast, and to have you follow us on Twitter. 

Happy Anniversary to Us: How Do You Measure, Measure a Year?

By Artistry and Finesse

It's been quite a Journey. On June 14, 2010, two men who were in the habit of starting the work day by sending each other unusually passionate and detailed emails about Pittsburgh Penguins games first decided to publish their thoughts for the world to see. It was a momentous occasion, marked by our parents calling us, ostensibly to "check in," but really to confirm that we were still employed. 365 days and 555 blog posts later, gettoourgame.com* has more than earned its reputation as the most trusted news magazine on the Internet. Is that a bold statement? Of course it is. But look at the facts:

GTOG Facebook followers as of 6/14/2010: 0
GTOG Facebook followers as of 6/14/2011: 94**

Just one year ago, this was only a dream.

Those numbers don't lie. GTOG is gaining followers at a rate of .25 people per day. There's a good chance that, as you read this post, someone's right leg is liking GTOG on Facebook. But the numbers - as powerful as they are - tell only a fraction of the story. How did this website, which grew from deceptively humble beginnings, become the first stop in the morning for scores of people looking for shrewd and original coverage of everything from hockey to reality television?

For a look back at Year 1, read on after the jump...
It was May 2010. In a horrifying upset, the Penguins had just been bounced from the playoffs by Montreal, and we were licking our wounds. Some people in moments of despair turn to comfort food or seek solace in a bottle of whiskey; we tend to read the Pittsburgh Post Gazette sports section on-line as we eat comfort food and drink whiskey. And so it happened that on May 25, 2010 (fitting date), Artistry sent an email to Finesse with the subject "A record that may never be broken," and containing the following message: "11 rhetorical sentences in [Ron] Cook's column today."***

We had too much time on our hands that week, and there was something inside of us that needed to find expression.  So Artistry did what any reasonable and ambitious professional with an advanced degree would do -- he turned every Ron Cook column into a poem. "Could we do this all day?" Artistry wrote in response to a flurry of poems from Finesse and our cohorts Poise and Eloquence. "I'm thinking yes."

Last known picture of Artistry.

On June 8, Finesse took things to another level, writing, "I just had 25 free minutes so I wrote my own Cook article. This is the most fun I've had since I've been a lawyer. 25 minutes, 883 words." Then we all started doing it. There was this explosion of creative energy centered, ironically, around Ron Cook. On June 14, Finesse figured out how to publish the timeless masterpiece entitled, "Writing a Ron Cook Column 101," followed by the first examples of "Ron Cook Poetry," and before he retired to bed on that fateful night, he sent an email that said so little, yet so much: "Two posts are up. Not really sure of next step."

It turned out that the next step involved a lot more of the same, until we realized it's tough to sustain a blog writing 400 word poems based on terrible 800 word columns.  So we did what any reasonable people who have a direct financial incentive to blog less and work more would do.  We started writing fake emails to ourselves and responding to them on the site.  We came up with a cool site design.  We joined Facebook.  We joined Twitter.  We had a "meeting" over beers.  We spent hours studying the pool of 2010 NHL unrestricted free agents.****  We were pot committed.

In the weeks and months that followed, we came to see the site as a metaphor.  A metaphor for life, love, fear, the universe, and the Bachelorette.  GTOG sometimes goes in directions you don't expect, that you couldn't expect, and that you may not want.  Yet wherever you go, there's GTOG.  You get out of GTOG what you put into GTOG.   GTOG takes commitment.  GTOG hurts sometimes.  GTOG can take your breath away.  GTOG may obstruct the rest of your life.  GTOG is vast and unknowable, yet accessible.  GTOG tears down walls, guards and protects hearts, and gives blessings.  But GTOG is not a Destination.  GTOG is a Journey.

"That was beautiful."

That chill that just went down your spine is what happens when someone expresses in words certain emotions that you thought you could only feel.  You're welcome.  Let's take a look back at some of the highlights of Year 1:

- We were all over NHL free agency and the NHL trade deadline, and we'll be your go-to site for the NHL again in 2011-12.

- In July 2010, we let down our walls and started recapping the Bachelorette on ABC.  Listen, we were vulnerable.  What else were we supposed to do?  It's not like we could sit through a whole Pirates game.  Funny thing is, we have no regrets.  By letting down our walls, we learned valuable lessons from Bachelor Pad, got hooked on the Bachelor, and gave you pure, naked emotion in our Raw Emotion podcasts.

- We gave you an epic NHL preview in not one, not two, not three, but four parts.  After the season, we graded the defensemen.  And the forwards.

- We covered every Penguins game.  Every single one.  And of course, every episode of HBO 24/7. 

A privilege, not a right.

- We gave you perspective.  On Marc Andre-Fleury.  On Dan Bylsma.  On the entire Penguins team.  And we didn't shy away from controversy.

- We gave you podcasts on a variety of topics, ranging from the unlistenable to the sublime.

- We made fun of Ted Leonsis, Lebron, Alex Ovechkin, Lebron, Rick Malambri, bad Penguins, Rashard Mendenhall, and LeBron.

Got us more hits from Jakarta than you could imagine.

- We gave you inside Hollywood scoop.  Then we gave you some more.  Then we had sushi with Hilary Duff.

- We covered every Steeler game.  Every single one.

- We became Beliebers, and belieb us when we tell you, we got down on Fridays.

Some nobel laureates haven't accomplished that much.

Doesn't get down on Fridays.

Joking aside*****, we're proud of this site.  Not because we have a spiffy new background, or because we think we're such an authority on sports and pop culture******, or because we made $13.50 in advertising revenue this year.*******  No, we're proud of GTOG because every once in a while, someone will let us know we made them laugh, or email us from Thailand to say, hey, thanks for keeping me up to speed on Pens games, or leave a comment on Facebook that "Yes!" she can't wait to listen to the Bachelorette Raw Emotion podcast.  Those things matter.

We don't know what the next year will bring.  There will be a new baby, and maybe a new job or two.  Finesse may date Shawntel from the Bachelorette, but most things are hard to predict with certainty.  There is really only one thing we can say for sure.  One thing we know.  One thing that's ours.  One thing that's yours.  Please, say it with us.  GTOG.



* We'd like to make this much easier on everyone and change the domain name to GTOG.com; however, some cyber-squatter has thus far foiled our plans.

** Only like 8 of these people are members of our families.

*** If you think we're paying $2.95 to dig this Ron Cook column out of the PPG archives, you're nuts.

**** We would have done this anyway.

***** We're not joking.

****** We totally are.

******* That may be an exaggeration.

Wake Up With GTOG: The Pirates, The Bruins, and The Dormont Pool

By Finesse

For those of you who don't know, and that's everyone except for me and Artistry, today is the one-year anniversary of GTOG.  We will celebrate ourselves fully, completely, and with our whole hearts later today, but until then...

- The Pirates are not bad.  The starting pitching is legitimately good and the closer, Joel Hanrahan, has left the great Dejan Kovacevic speechless. We aren't really sure what to make of this, given that we spent the preseason  holding a daily Twitter contest in which I took one real Pirate name and then made up another name and asked you, the fans, to figure out which was real and which was fake.

More than the courtesy Pirate on your fantasy team.

- The Canucks failed to show up for the third time in Boston, getting blown out of the building in the first period before settling in to a 5-2 loss.  So far, we've learned the following from these playoffs:

1) Vancouver is good, but also kind of a joke.

2) He could have 11 straight shutouts, save a child from a burning building, and spend his offseason adopting three-legged dogs and I still could never like Tim Thomas.

3) The December 2010 Penguins would be on their fourth straight day of swimming with the Cup in Mario's pool if, you know...

4) Pens fans seem to be rooting for Boston which, to me, is confounding.  It would be patriotic to root for the Bruins if their players were all American but the most prominent American on their team is Tim Thomas and that's a non-starter here at GTOG.  As a Penguins' fan, it's difficult to root for anyone from the Eastern Conference, especially an organization that thinks it was one Ulf Samuelsson hit on Cam Neely away from winning the Cup in 1991 and 1992 (nevermind that the Pens went on to absolutely humiliate the Bruins in 8 straight Wales Conference Championship games).

- According to LeBron James, today is the day that people in Cleveland must get back to their personal problems.  Sorry Cleveland.  Hope you enjoyed Monday.

- Why do people hate Roberto Luongo so much?

- Within a 2-week period, people from Mt. Lebanon saw the opening of the Dormont Pool and Mark Cuban win an NBA Championship.  That's living the dream.

Wake Up With GTOG: 5 Weekend Reactions

By Finesse

Lots going on, so here's a quick list to scan through.

5. Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks on winning their first ever NBA title last night.  After Game 1, everyone wrote them off and even predicted a Miami sweep.  But the Mavs had an epic comeback in Game 2 and then once LeBron fell off the face of the Earth in Game 4, the Mavs wouldn't turn back.  Dirk Nowitzki was slightly irritating early in his carrer with the gyrations, the flopping, the hair, and the complaining.  But at 31 years-old, he has matured into undoubtedly the craftiest player in the league, like the old guy you play against in pick up who does underhand scoop shots that you should block every time but can somehow never get to.

4. Here's GTOG's unofficial diagnosis on what happened to LeBron James in Games 4-6.  His legs went dead.  If you watched Game 6 closely, there were numerous times when LeBron just didn't jump very high.  Three times he finished with layups at the rim when usually he was dunking.  He seemed hesitant to shoot because when he did shoot, it was all arms.  So, how did this happen?  It says here that it was a combination of nerves and fatigue.  LeBron rarely comes out of the game, so he has some argument for being tired, although that's only a partial excuse.  He got tight when D-Wade took over as the clear #1 player on Miami and didn't know what he was supposed to do.  Rather than trying to be a co-#1 with Wade, he went too far the other direction and started playing hot potato with the ball.  But he was never comfortable in this role either, so the nerves got going again and, as anyone who ever has been nervous before can tell you, it sucks A LOT of energy out of your system.  Thus, he was brutal in Games 4-6.

"Oh my god it's so hot! Get it away!"

3. Stop me if you've ever heard this before: Star athlete gets serious injury, says recovery is going better than expected, says he is motivated to come back better than ever before.  Well, that's where Evgeni Malkin is right now according to Rob Rossi.  We don't doubt Geno's motivation to come back strong, but we've heard this before (Remember, before last season, Geno said he was better than he ever had been before.  Then he averaged less than a point-per-game).  It's encouraging to hear that the medical rehab is going well, but until he is pumping in power-play goals, the motivational stuff is cliche to feed to columnists.  (FYI - we are Geno's biggest fans).

2. Artistry and I had a back and forth on this recently, but here's a condensed version of my thinking on Pens' restricted free agent Tyler Kennedy.  My position is to let him go to arbitration and get awarded a relatively high one-year salary and then pay it.  A one-year deal is not going to kill the cap.  There will still be some money left over to fill in the gaps on the 3rd and 4th line, and although it won't be much, Shero has proven to be remarkably effective at finding bargains for the grind lines.  The Pens have a window to win the Stanley Cup next season, and unless there is a cheaper replacement for TK's production (there probably isn't), then let's not let the window shut just so we can have an extra 200K to invest in a 12th forward.

1. I was at the Belmont Stakes this weekend, and if you've never been to a horse race, here's three pieces of advice.

1) Get general admission tickets and then sneak (or bribe) your way to better seats.  Don't ever pay $120 dollars for grandstand seats.
2) Wear whatever you want as it's the only time that d-baggery in clothing is officially sanctioned.
3) Gamble on long shots.  It's no fun rooting for the favorite and there is no money in it.

Standing with the crowd and hearing the cheering as the horses came around the final stretch was one of the cooler things I've ever seen at a sporting event.  You may not have any idea which horse is which, but it's license to indiscriminately yell "Go!" as loud as you can as many times as you can.  Put a Triple Crown race somewhere on your sports bucket list.  You won't regret it.

GTOG on the scene reporting.

Wake Up With GTOG: Thud.

By Finesse

Maybe the most disappointing triple-double in NBA history.

"Oh, you're guarding me? Ok, I'll pass to Mike Bibby's carcass."

LeBron wasn't terrible last night, but he didn't do enough for the Heat to win, especially with D-Wade hurting with a bum hip.  Maybe Dallas is just better, but something is off with LBJ, as he's been taking his talents to the corner and watching the 4th quarter.  He's coming back to the friendly confines of Miami for Games 6 and 7, and should be a lot more comfortable there.  If not, it's going to be a long summer.

Tonight May Define LeBron's Legacy, AND WHAT HAVE YOU!

By Finesse

Stephen A. Smith has been all over the ESPN airwaves today to insinuate that there is something traumatic going on in LeBron James's personal life that caused his historically terrible and passive Game 4, in which James went 3-for-11 and attempted only 1 shot in the 4th quarter.  To paraphrase Stephen A.

"IT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE AND THE LIKE FOR ME TO REPEAT SOME OF THE INNUENDOS AND HAPPENSTANCE THAT I HAVE HEARD AS IT PERTAINS TO LEBRON JAMES AND HIS PERSONAL LIFE BUT INDEED I HAVE HEARD RUMORS AND ALLEGEDLIES INVOLVING HIS PERSONAL LIFE AND WHAT HAVE YOU THAT UNQUESTIONABLY AND WITHOUT QUESTION WOULD IMPACT IS ABILITY TO PLAY THE GAME OF PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL ON THE BASKETBALL COURT."

Last year, LeBron dropped a similar stink bomb in Game 5 against the Celtics and was slammed, so to speak, by the media.  The explanation that emerged for that terrible performance was that - let's just be frank about it - his teammate Delonte West was sleeping with his mom.  If accurate, can you really blame LeBron?

"You can call me Dad."

Whether some similar situation is going on in Miami (which would say something interesting about his mom, don't you think?) is anyone's guess, at least until Stephen A. gives some sort of detail about what he is talking about.  But regardless of what may be going on in his personal life, LeBron's legacy risks suffering permanent damage if he continues to stand by idly - literally - while watching D. Wade attempt to carry the Heat to the title.  No one can predict what LeBron will do tonight.  He could go for 5 points or 50 points and I wouldn't be surprised.  But I'll be watching.

Wake Up With GTOG: D-Wade Takes Over; Throw it to Plaxico!

By Finesse

As we work on some design changes for the website....

- Dwyane Wade took over late for the Heat last night as they took a 2-1 series lead over the Mavs with an 88-86 victory.  Chris Bosh hit the winning shot late, but it was Wade who controlled the game for the Heat in the 4th quarter.  In his own words, "I took it upon myself as a leader to lead my guys by example.  I’ve been here before."

- You know who else has been there before?  LeBron James.  His Cavs made the least-entertaining Finals of all time in 2007 and were swept by the Spurs.  Even D-Wade doesn't remember.  It's hard to knock LeBron too much because the Heat won the game and he did have a nice assist on Bosh's winning jumper, but if you're a student of body language and of jumping to conclusions based on what you see on TV, like we are, then you could tell that LeBron wasn't passive because he thought the game dictated it -- he looked rattled.  When Wade is on his game, LeBron is right to be reasonably deferential.  But to stand in the corner and let Mario Chalmers and Joel ("Joelle") Anthony be the outlets for Wade when he gets double teamed is soft.  Tissue soft.

- Plaxico Burress gets out of jail today and will be an unrestricted free agent whenever the NFL Lockout comes to an end.  He will be 34 years-old when the season begins and will not have played football in 3 years.  Researching the possibility of Burress returning to the Steelers, one will stumble upon the following quote from Big Ben:

"Plax really helped kind of mold me and make me who I am."

Explains a lot.

"See you at the bar later?"

- Huge Bachelorette episode tonight.  Arguably the biggest of the season so far.  All signs point to Ashley prematurely letting her Walls down for Bentley, thereby exposing her heart to breakage.  Will Ryan P., reincarnate of Apollo, be able to harness the broken pieces of her heart to bring clean energy to poor people?  Stay tuned.

Wake Up With GTOG: This is How You Close

By Finesse

Herm Edwards is on ESPN2 right now screaming about "closing."  Everyone else is talking about how Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, and Dwyane Wade are "closers."  And no matter who it is talking about "closing," he is clicking the "c" sound in the word to the point where you need to change the channel.

LeBron, Wade, and Dirk are fantastic players.  Each of them probably is already among the top-20 guys ever, and depending on their performance in the Finals, each could end up in the top 10.  In fact, LeBron may not have a ceiling.

But with all due respect to those three, there is only one true closer.  And in case you forgot what MJ was capable of, just watch the following video from the 6:45 mark forward.  It's ruthlessly efficient execution of the highest order.



The last 41 seconds of the game is like watching Michaelangelo put the finishing touches on the David.  The only difference being that Michaelangelo probably didn't celebrate by taking a private jet to Cabo to play blackjack at an underground casino.

Wake Up With GTOG: Some Random Stories

By Finesse

So much going on.

- Tampa forced a Game 7 against Boston with an exciting 5-4 victory last night.  We have found ourselves overwhelmingly rooting for Tampa, and even for Martin St. Louis, who has been a consistent killer of the Pens but has emerged as our tiny little hero.  Usually we hate teams that eliminate the Pens, but Tampa handled it well, was a better team, and was relatively un-annoying, because the only thing they did that bothered us -- Ryan Malone taking penalties -- actually should have been to the Pens' advantage.



- Scott McCreery won American Idol.  That's likely the last time we will be writing about Scott McCreery.  At what point is that show going to realize what is happening and split into Blue State Idol and Red State Idol?  Not saying that one is better than the other, but there are trends developing.

- Sike, we actually have one more thing to say about McCreery.  We love his fashion sense.  A tuxedo jacket, a hemp necklace with a cross on it, a skin-tight undershirt from Express Men, a belt from Cracker Barrel, and the Wranglers from the Brett Favre commercials.  Artistry is wearing the same thing to work today.

- Not that we sit around wondering "what-if" all day, but Artistry and I are currently in a debate about whether to put the asterisk before or after the team name for whichever team wins the Eastern Conference.  What looks better?  *Boston Bruins or Boston Bruins*

- The Dallas Mavericks eliminated the Oklahoma City Thunder last night to win the Western Conference and advance to the NBA Finals.  If they should end up playing Miami, it gives Mark Cuban and Dirk Nowitzki a shot at redemption for blowing a 2-0 lead in the 2006 Finals to the Heat in what many feel was a referee aided comeback for Dwyane Wade and the Heat.  Was the officiating bad?  Probably.  But because of it, the first ticky-tack call in favor of the Heat raises a realistic possibility of the first live head explosion ever aired by ESPN.  We can't say we aren't excited.

- In the least surprising story of the day, another ex-Ohio St. football player said he sold his football rings for cash.  Snore.  Cue the chorus of, "we have to pay these players!" While paying college athletes may make sense on some levels, it could actually cause even more problems.  Are you going to pay the 80th man the same as the star quarterback?  How is that any more fair than paying neither?  And if you are going to pay different players different amounts, then won't players just go to the highest bidding team?  Aren't they already getting paid with a scholarship?  What about Title IX?  How can a school like Indiana - which has laughable attendance at football games - compete against a money-making machine like Ohio St. if, in addition to the on-field advantages OSU has, they can also pay more?  [Oh wait, you don't care?  Ok, nevermind.]

- Pirate fever:

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