Joe Paterno Passes Away

By Finesse

Joe Paterno passed away this morning.  He was 85.

Tough times in Happy Valley.

Penn State Reportedly Hires Bill O'Brien; Lavar Arrington Goes Insane

By Finesse

Reports are that Penn State has hired Patriots' offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien as its next head coach.  O'Brien has no head coaching experience and is not from within the Penn State "family."

This has apparently rubbed many Penn State alum the wrong way or, in Lavar Arrington's case, the wrongest way possible.  From his Twitter feed:

Arrington elaborates in Blue White Illustrated:

"I will put my Butkus (Award) in storage. I will put my Alamo Bowl MVP trophy in storage," Arrington said. "Jerseys, anything Penn State, in storage. Wherever Tom Bradley goes, that's the school I will start to put memorabilia up in my home. I'm done. I'm done with Penn State. If they're done with us, I'm done with them."

Former linebacker Brandon Short also went crazy to Blue White Illustrated:

Said former All-American linebacker Brandon Short, "I don't want to be affiliated with the university if they don't choose a Penn State guy because of our standards, our graduation, all the things that have been important... it's no longer Penn State, so we might as well be in the SEC. They are intent on turning it into a booster culture. Ira Lubert went out and purchased a national title with wrestling and he's under the illusion that he can do that in football. Well, ask (Redskins owner) Dan Snyder about that."

"Penn State is a family and it is real and if they choose to get rid of Bradley and not hire a Penn State coach, then they've turned their backs on our entire family."

During the week that the Penn State program was essentially torn to pieces, the majority of the media and public divided into either or both of the following camps: 1) is there a way we can legally kill Joe Paterno?; and 2) ohmygod that 19-year old climbed a street lamp, someone get the National Guard in there and start shooting!

There were very few people who advocated a measured, reasonable response in the face of what looked like, and has proved to be, a terrible situation.  [I did].  One of those people arguing against a rush to judgment of Joe Paterno's legacy was Lavar Arrington.

So much for that.

Obviously, hiring a football coach and reporting child abuse are of wildly different importance, but there is a stunning inconsistency in the way that Arrington, and many other PSU alums, are reacting.  Why bury O'Brien before he's even officially hired?  Why make ridiculous threats to give back your Butkus award when you know nothing about this guy?  Why be so certain that PSU should have hired Tom Bradley, who, sorry to say, may at some point be shown to have had knowledge of some of the stuff that Paterno got canned for knowing?  And who, by the way, didn't show so well during his dry run the last 4 games?

The media rushed to judge Joe Paterno...isn't that exactly what Arrington and Short are doing with O'Brien?

Arrington and Short oppose the hiring of O'Brien under the guise of supporting the Penn State family.  But by publicly destroying the guy and the school before he is even officially announced as the coach is selfish and will turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  He's stepping into a hard enough situation as it is; for the guys who profess to love Penn State to go out of their way to blast the school and O'Brien makes the situation impossible.

Joe Paterno's tenure was doomed at the end, through no fault of guys like Short and Arrington.  But O'Brien's tenure is doomed from the start, and this time, PSU alums will have no one to blame but themselves.

GTOG Podcast: Pens Lose to Rangers; Was a Certain Star Tentative?

We talk about the Pens' loss to the Rangers, the effects of playing a full season as the favorites, whether a man who owns one suit and has no professional coaching experience is the answer for the Caps, the Steelers' snoozer in K.C, and even the NBA and BCS (but only briefly, we promise).

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On To The Next One: The Swift Takedown of Joe Paterno

By Finesse

Something happened at Penn State these past few days that's going to take a long time to figure out.  But don't worry, there's still time to take a couple more photos of an overturned news van.

Pack up the cameras and the mics.  On to the next one.

[Read my full reaction here: On Penn State, Joe Paterno, and how we react to scandals]

GTOG Podcast: Penn State, Sid’s possible return, and some Steelers reflections

We touch on the Penn State saga, the Letestu trade, Sid's possible return, and some positives and negatives from Steelers-Ravens.


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Pitt Sees Writing on the Wall, Likely Headed to the ACC

By Finesse

Depending on what you're reading, Pitt's move to the ACC is either confirmed or a very very strong rumor.  [Update: Definitely confirmed.]  It's regrettable that the Big East is going in this direction, but if the move goes through, Pitt AD Steve Pederson should be applauded for being proactive.

For a school like Pitt that is competitive in both football and basketball, the current state of the Big East is unacceptable.  The basketball is incredible, but the football is abysmal.  Pitt is situated in an absolute hotbed of football recruits, but why would any of the best ones want to go to Pitt to play against Connecticut, Rutgers, South Florida when they could go to Penn State, Michigan, or The Ohio State Corporation?  ACC football isn't great, but it's better than the Big East.  And the Big East has built itself into a league that has no choice but to shrink -- it can't go poach a Maryland or North Carolina from the ACC because there is simply no room to bring them into an already too-big 16 team basketball conference.  As awesome as Big East basketball has been for the past few years, bringing in Louisville, South Florida, Depaul, etc. may ultimately mean the demise of the conference as we know it.

"I'll still have the best basketball-coach-hair in the ACC, so I don't really care."

It will be unfortunate to watch the Big East dissolve into a true (almost) basketball-only league.  (There is no way that West Virginia football can stay in the Big East without Pitt.  The ACC should welcome the Mountaineers with open arms).  But this is a necessary move for the Panthers.  Pitt, to even the most ardent supporter, is not a driver on the college sports landscape.  It's not Texas or Oklahoma.  Those are the dominoes -- Pitt is just the collateral damage.

So while it will be tough to watch Pitt (and Syracuse, which is also reported to be moving to the ACC) have to pay lip service to the already self-congratulatory "Tobacco Road" contingency, this is a move of necessity.  The train was leaving the station -- kudos to Pederson for hopping on before it was too late.

GTOG's Official 2011 College Football Preview

By Finesse

Conducted with the rhetorical flourish of ESPN's College Game Day, here's a transcript of GTOG's official college football preview.

Generic Host: So GTOG, who do you like this year in college football?

Artistry: Well, you look at Oklahoma and you look at Alabama.  And then obviously you have the Pac-10 and Oregon and then Texas and the Big 12.  Ohio St., obviously.  And Florida with the SEC and Coach Hoke with Michigan.  Obviously there's that and then you have the SEC the best conference.  But Wisconsin and even of course Florida St.  What about you, Finesse?

Finesse: Well, you have the running game obviously with what they do with the football on the offensive side of the football.  But I like the Big 10, though it's more like the Big-12.  HAHAHAHA.  You have South Carolina, of course, and what they're doing.  Boise St. with the blue field and Stanford with the west coast and everything they have going on there.  Then there's the coaches at Arkansas and Notre Dame.  And you know, you have Auburn, Florida and Missouri, too.

Artistry: I agree with you about the running game, but you also have to look at the spread offense.  Of course you have Nebraska and Georgia with their defenses and what they're doing on the defensive lines.  All the stunting.  You look at LSU and then you have to look at Texas too with that program.

Finesse: I disagree. I think you have to look at the coaching situations at Texas A&M and Oklahoma St. and with their secondaries and everything on the defensive side of the football.  I like Oregon and what Coach Saban does at Alabama with the turnaround at Nebraska you could see, too.  But their schedule is tough, though the linebackers and of course the quarterback situation with Virginia Tech and everything that's going on there.

Artistry: On the football field you look at what's happening on the offensive side of the football field and you look at that what with the quarterbacking and the spread offense and I think that's a dangerous combination. I like them, too.

Wake Up With GTOG: You Don't F**k With Joe Paterno

By Finesse

He may be old, he may be frail, and he may constantly get run over by his own players in practice, but Joe Paterno will not tolerate your nonsense.  Word emerged yesterday that Paterno has kicked starting senior running back Stephfon Green off the team, saying “Stephfon had some problems with me, and I think right now, for the benefit of everybody, especially the benefit of the football team, it might be better if he backs away.”

We obviously have no idea what happened, but we will say this: If you're a rising senior tailback who rushed for over 1,000 yards the previous year, and you are slotted in as the unquestioned #1 back after the school's all-time leading rusher (Evan Royster) graduated last year, and you can't find a way to get along with your 84-year old coach, then you should probably be looking in the mirror to find out what went wrong.

Because Joe Paterno won't put up with your nonsense.

Long Live The King.

GTOG's First Annual Heroes and Villains List

By GTOG Staff

During the 14 months of GTOG's existence, we've experienced our share of highs and lows.  We've seen GTOG become the most-visited website in Indonesia because of that country's obsession with Step Up 3-D; we've been called out on Twitter by the NBA player who organizes "Lapdance Tuesday;" we've spent entire mornings bombarding the Twitter accounts of ex-Bachelor contestants, to varying degrees of success; we've been shunned by the most unreadable reality TV blogger on the Internet; and we've recorded podcasts from hospital rooms.  Through it all, we made a list.  We checked it over once, briefly.  And if you're on it, we feel strongly about you, for better or worse.  If you're new to the site, consider this a primer of where our loyalties lie.  Without further adieu, and in no particular order, we bring you GTOG's heroes and villains of Year 1.

Read on for the full list of Heroes and Villains....

Heroes

Bob Pompeani - We've admired the well-coiffed KDKA sports anchor for nearly 30 years. We see a lot of ourselves in him.  So smart.  So steady.  So serviceable.  One day we did a light-hearted post about Pomp, and he took the time to let us know he enjoyed it.  All that talent, and a sense of humor to boot?  That's heroic.

Jamie Dixon - In a world where no blue-chippers stay in school anymore, he doesn't rely on blue-chippers.  In a city where Hurdle, Tomlin, and Bylsma live, he might be the best coach in town.  He rescues strangers from car accidents.  And forget Pitino and Calipari.  Nobody looks more like a basketball coach should look than Jamie Dixon.

Justin Bieber - If you're a fan of things that are excellent, then you probably already love Justin Bieber.  We like to think that we are at least partially responsible for his meteoric rise to stardom because we went to a theater packed with 6 people to take vigorous notes on his movie so we could give you this movie review.

Chris Harrison - No one gets more out of doing less than Chris Harrison.  He may conduct interviews without asking questions and he may get upstaged at his own job by a jeweler, but he brings the one thing GTOG respects the most: Consistency.  Witness the flawless execution:

Harrison's locker room on-set in Fiji.

Rick Malambri - Who is Rick Malambri?  Everything you need to know is in his dancing.  How does he do it?  Well, some people learn to dance.  Others are born to.  Why does he do it?  Because one move can set a whole generation free.  If that doesn't define "hero," we don't know what does.  And if you live in Southeast Asia and do a Google Image search for Rick Malambri, there's a good chance you're going to spend the afternoon reading recaps of Penguin games.

Polarizing figure in Jakarta.

Shawntel Newton - You already know she's attractive.  But did you also know that the former Bachelor contestant known to GTOG as the Comely Embalmer, AKA the Smoking Hot Undertaker, is one of the most down-to-earth Ladies you'll ever encounter?  Let's get #ShawntelYouShouldDateFinesse trending on Twitter.

Stan and Guy - Things that never should have happened: 1) KBL going away; 2) Brett Favre thinking, "nah, she'll never forward this to Deadspin" and 3) Stan and Guy getting at least 10 of their shows cancelled.  In an industry where most hosts are uninformed blowhards, these guys sweat Reasonableness.

Andray Blatche - He's 6'11," plays in the NBA and is the host of "Lapdance Tuesday."  In other words, he's our target demo.  And when we pondered what Ted's Take would be on Blatche going "hard n' the paint," he eloquently responded on Twitter, "why u wanna do all that."  So well put.

Huge fans.

Ames - Imagine if Gullibility had a baby with Naiveté, and the baby was home-schooled before suffering a severe concussion.  That's Ames.  He has an unparalleled depth of knowledge of things women don't care about, and is the inspiration for our newest refrigerator magnet, The Many Faces of Ames.

Clint Hurdle - Because he's a good manager, even if the Pirates haven't won in two weeks.

Paul Martin - Because we defend him.

Sheer Elegance - Because she did what no sane human being should ever do and watched an entire season of the Real Housewives of New York and wrote about it for us.  She's a better Mario-Adjective than we are [see below].

George and Randy! - These guys started reading GTOG before our parents did. We don't know them personally, but we feel like we do.  They're smart, loyal, they get the joke, and you know what?  They're our heroes.

Loyalty.

The Pensblog - Talk about commitment.  If every American applied themselves to the task at hand like these guys cover our Pittsburgh Penguins, we wouldn't be worried about the Chinese.  Consistently creative.  Consistently funny.  And consistently generous to certain upstart bloggers.

Villains

Adam Schefter - One year ago we were anti-Schefty because he played Bob Woodward and cited anonymous sources to report that a guy who everyone knew had blown out his ACL did, in fact, blow out his ACL.  This year, he's checking his email live on SportsCenter and incoherently shouting "Nnamdi Asomugha!"

Nnamdi Asomugha!!!!!!  Nnamdi Asomugha!!!!!

Ted Leonsis - Our position on Ted has been beaten into the ground, but we're flattered that he briefly left the front lines of the War on Hearing to take a shot at GTOG on his blog and on Puck Daddy.  There's only one thing left to say:

Are we sure that isn't Boyd Gordon?

Jaden Smith - When you're born with a golden spoon in your mouth but trade it in for a spoon made out of diamonds, that's inflammatory.  But when you choose to hitch your private luxury helicopter to the coattails of Justin Bieber and insert yourself repeatedly in his movie for no apparent reason, we have to draw the line.

"I can't reach Daddy because his pilot asked him to turn his phone off for the landing."

"That football coach Pitt hired" - If it wasn't for a Ron Cook Poem asking so pointedly, "Really, is it so wrong to give Haywood a chance?" then we would have absolutely no idea what this guy's name was.  He was hired on December 16th, Ron Cook pronounced him a great hire on December 17th, he was arrested for domestic violence on December 31st, and was fired on January 2nd.  He would have been more memorable if he had just lit a turd on fire on the steps of the Cathedral of Learning.

Face of the University.

William Gay - Are you a struggling NFL receiver?  Do you need a chance to unwind and recharge your batteries?  Spend some time on Gay Island.  It's always open, and, unfortunately, so are you.

Reality Steve - Where to begin.  Somehow this blowhard has amassed a huge following among Bachelor Nation.  We attribute this to the fact that he has some source that gives him Bachelor and Bachelorette "spoilers."  Forgive us, but we thought these shows were about the Journey, not the Destination.  Anyway, for a long time, we tried to post links to our recaps in his comments section.  Each time, he removed them.  Then, he solicited applications for guest bloggers to help make his website readable.  We put the past aside and volunteered our services.  He ignored us, and made his website worse as a result.  So we loaded up the flame thrower and napalmed all bridges between us.

Peter King - Ah, the self-indulgent author of Monday Morning Quarterback. First, thanks for all the good reporting you do.  But let's get something straight:  we don't care about what happened to you on your flight from Detroit to Dallas.  We don't care about what you put in your coffee this morning.  And we really don't care what you think about the New Jersey Devils.  But we know a website that may have a column for you to write.

Long Island - You brought out the worst that the NHL has to offer and then threw a nuclear bomb on top of it to give us one of the more unfortunate nights in Penguins' history.  You were apparently upset that 1) your goalie started a fight; 2) your goalie got his face shattered in one punch in said fight; 3) Brent Johnson ran up and down the Jersey Shore yelling, "One Shot, Bro!!!" and 4) the Penguins laughed about it because, well, it was hilarious.  Then you convinced yourselves that YOU were the victim.



Dale Tallon - One summer before it's time for the Penguins to try and extend Jordan Staal and Sidney Crosby, the Florida GM handed the not-prolific Tomas Fleischmann a 4 yr./$18 million contract.  Among other things.  Thanks.

Bentley - You know just how to talk to a Lady in an almost incoherent mumble. But that "narrating the present" technique can only work for so long when all you're offering is a "dot dot dot."  You do realize your daughter Cozy is going to one day be able to access the GTOG Bachelorette Recap archives in the U.S. Library of Congress, right?  Just saying.  [Are we putting Bentley in the Villains section and not the Heroes section so as not to infuriate our substantial female readership?  For you to decide.]

There, there.

Skype - Where were you when we were trying to record that Raw Emotion podcast in June?  We don't forget.

Petr Svoboda - Hello, Petr?  Oh, we're so sorry.  We didn't realize it was already 9 pm.  It's down to Detroit and Pittsburgh, is it Petr?  Oh, Jaromir will make his decision by Wednesday?  Is that a fact?  What's that?  You've lost track of his whereabouts?  Now additional teams with inferior - but right-handed - centers have entered the bidding?  Have you taken leave of your senses?  Petr?  Petr?  He hung up.

All of the Real Housewives of New York - We tried to watch this show. We really did. We thought that maybe, against the odds, we could find some of the Bachelor/Bachelorette magic in another absurd but satire-friendly reality show.  We made it through about 20 minutes of the first episode, we were horrified, and we both blacked out.  Neither of us know what happened, but we're still having night terrors, and and it's hard to talk about. 

ESPN - For making us watch hockey on NBC for at least the next 10 years.  For making poor Scott Burnside broadcast from his grandmother's living room.  For ignoring the Pirates.  For making Buccigross do "vlogumns."  For SportsCenter's free agent FRENZY!  For taking Jay Harris from Pittsburgh, but leaving Alby Oxenreiter behind.  By the way, this is a great read.

Rebecca Black - You had us when you pointed out that yesterday was Thursday.  To-day it is Friday.  Tomorrow is Saturday.  And Sunday comes afterwaaaards.  You lost us when you decided this is Your Moment.  But let's be clear: we'd love to have you on the podcast, and to have you follow us on Twitter. 

Coach Sheshevsky Loses Top Recruit Because Duke Can't Spell

By Finesse

Sometimes, attention to detail matters.  Long ago, an intern at a big company sent out a mass email that was supposed to have an attachment.  Like we've all done, he forgot the attachment.  He sent a second email two minutes later with the file attached, and wrote "Sorry for the incontinence."

Apology accepted?

Anyway, a top basketball recruit from North Carolina has apparently decided to attend UNC over Duke, at least in part because Duke consistently misspelled his name in letters they sent him.  The recruit, P.J. Hairston, complained that Duke routinely called him P.J. Harrison.  Via Fox Sports via some newspaper in North Carolina:

"The thing about Duke was, every time they sent me a letter, they wouldn’t spell my name right,” Hairston said. “They would have ‘T.J. Harrison’ or something like that. And I’m like, ‘OK. How can I go here? You can’t even spell my name right.’ It’s only two letters and HAIR and STON. I’m trying to figure out how that’s so hard.”

The lesson: it's impossible to overestimate people's incontinence.