Wake Up With GTOG: Revisiting Our Civic Arena Plan

By Finesse

We go back in time this morning to a post that Poise* wrote back in August of 2010 in which he said that the Civic Arena site should be used for an outdoor ice rink (among other things).  David Morehouse must be a huge GTOG fan, because he announced yesterday that the outdoor ice arena from the Winter Classic will have a permanent home on the old Civic Arena site and it will be equipped to host high school hockey games (wish I was still in high school).

*For those who don't remember Poise, he's my brother.  So Smart. Not That Steady. So Prescient.

----

From August 2010:

The Issue:
Dialogue is beginning to intensify in the City of Pittsburgh regarding the future use of the Mellon Arena site. Since the Penguins ownership broke ground on the new Consol Energy Center, we all knew the day would eventually come when we would no longer need Mellon Arena. Not surprisingly, during the Consol Energy Center’s construction period, we were all too distracted with what was going on with the team to think much about the future of the building. Now that the last game has been played and all the championship banners have been taken down, we are now faced with an empty building and vacant parking lot.

City officials, residents and developers are asking questions regarding what to do next with what is undoubtedly the City’s most compelling and valuable piece of property. The land use battle has begun and the rest of us are left aligning sides in the debate: GTOG takes sides after the jump…

The Question:
Do we save the Igloo? If we save it, we keep a beautiful and historic city landmark filled with local sports history, and we maintain an iconic structure in the Pittsburgh landscape. However at what cost? How can we realistically reuse the Igloo to make anything functional or logical? How many economically sustainable things can you do with a giant, old, functionally obsolete hollow dome? Remember how rampantly unsuccessful East Liberty’s Motor Square Garden project was?

Or do we bulldoze? If we do we make way for an exciting new project that will create new jobs, increased commercial synergy with Downtown, the Consol Energy Center and the Hill District, and utilize a prime piece of Downtown real estate. Unfortunately, this too comes at a high price. Is it worth destroying one of Pittsburgh’s famed landmarks only to make way for some developer's generic retail concept equipped with a McFadden’s Saloon or Cheesecake factory restaurant? These only cater to the game day crowds at Consol and really serve no higher civic function. We already have this kind of development on the North Shore and at other stadium outposts in cities across America, and be honest, who actually cares about those places anyway? Something will eventually happen to this site whether you like it or not.

The Answer:
As much as it hurts me and other Penguins fans to say this…we have to tear down the Igloo, and we have to tear it down quickly. I say this because the Mellon Arena site is too valuable, and the opportunity to create something great is too exciting to be left on hold or squandered entirely. Taking the exact opposite stance as GTOG is State Senator Jim Ferlo, who has requested a two year “cooling off period” in which to consider alternative uses for the building. Can someone please tell Jim Ferlo that the people in the city out of work and looking of jobs, the developers looking to build and revitalize the Hill District, and the community residents looking for new places to live, work, and shop DO NOT want to stare at a massive empty building and parking lot for another two years?

That leaves the question of what do we build and why? There are a lot of people with different development agendas; however it is possible to think that the Mellon Arena site can be used to build something that embraces the best elements of all ideas in a very economically and socially stimulating way.

The Plan:
One of the Penguins organization’s most laudable efforts is its outreach to young people (ie. student rush tickets, youth hockey development programs, the outdoor screen, etc.). This has strongly promoted the game of hockey to young people throughout Western Pennsylvania. Surprisingly, for a city that has been so impacted by the “Mario Lemieux Effect” it seems we are only taking advantage of a fraction of the youth hockey playing population due to the lack of a centrally located and convenient city ice rink.

Step #1: We build a new, cutting edge, LEED certified Pittsburgh Penguins All City Ice Arena
Forget reusing Mellon Arena, its time has passed. Let’s build a beautiful new ice rink that will be the home to all City Public School teams. This will be the anchor of the new Mellon Arena site. If kids have a place to play, the more likely they will be to become involved in the sport, start teams, and promote Pittsburgh as a hockey hotbed in the US. Currently, Pittsburgh Public School’s hockey teams play outside the city, if even at all.

Additionally, the Penguins organization has done a great job in promoting their Hockey in the Hood Program as part of the NHL’s Hockey is for Everyone campaign. Ironically, all of Hockey in the Hood’s programs take place at ice rinks very much outside of the “Hood.” Imagine how much easier it would be for local Hill District kids and other local city kids to walk, or take easily accessible public transportation to a centrally located place to play in the heart of the city. This would strongly benefit the Pittsburgh Public School’s youth hockey programs and create numerous athletic, employment, and social opportunities for Pittsburgh’s inner city kids. All the while, it helps Pittsburgh promote hockey to an entirely untapped faction of its youth population.

Step #2: The Penguins move their practice facility to the new All City Ice Arena and create a “Hockey Neighborhood”
Let's move away from Southpointe. By making the Lower Hill district THE place for Penguins hockey with the All City Ice Arena and the Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh can create an official “hockey neighborhood” in the city. Marketing crossover and national promotion of this hockey neighborhood concept would be a totally unique idea solely utilized by the Penguins. Local residents could come watch practices in a more central and commercially viable location.

Step #3: Actively recruit USA Hockey and other top national hockey organizations, trade groups, and associations to move their headquarters to the Lower Hill.
These headquarters can be built into a mixed use development project with (affordable) housing, retail and office space. This will provide a much needed commercial element to help sustain and compliment the high volume of traffic created by the All City Ice Arena and the Consol Energy Center. If the goal of the project is to create a massive neighborhood devoted to the commercialization and promotion of hockey, let’s incentivize the top hockey organizations to relocate here, making Pittsburgh the epicenter for hockey development in the US. Obviously various other office users and retailers would come to inhabit the project to make it more commercially viable; however the overall theme of the mixed use development would be geared towards the sport of hockey, athleticism, and competition.

Step #4: The Screen.
We all love it. Let’s build an outdoor amphitheater that broadcasts every Pens game on the big screen. Not only is watching a Pens game on the outdoor screen a spectacular fan experience, it is also an untapped market of consumers. This added influx of people would all shop at the nearby restaurants and stores in the hockey neighborhood and give even more people an excuse to visit the project and spend money on a semi nightly basis.

Step #5: The outside rink
Included as part of the All City Ice Arena and Town Center will be an outdoor rink, fully equipped with high tech lighting, heating, and seating for outdoor games in the winter. Imagine the allure of going to watch high school and college night games Winter Classic Style, with the creature comforts of an indoor rink and the supplemental restaurants and shopping to accompany a full night’s worth of social activity.

The Recap:
My intention here is to show how exciting a piece of property the Mellon Arena site is and what kind of creative potential it could have if redeveloped in a unique, fun and commercially viable way that engages all members of the community while promoting the Lower Hill's economy and Pittsburgh based hockey.

If Mayor Ravenstahl really wants to hijack the Hockeytown moniker from Detroit, now is the time we take it.

GTOG readers, what do you think?

Wake Up With GTOG: Is Jose Reyes For Real?

By Finesse

A few thoughts on last night's wild finish to the baseball season.

- The Rays' comeback on the Yankees, coupled with the Red Sox collapse, is what makes baseball so great, you know, so long as you forget the past 6 months of games.  Seriously though, it was exciting, and it reinforced an undeniable truth about baseball: If you want to come back from a 5+ run deficit, load the bases and then have the opposing pitcher walk/bean in the next 2 runs.  Floodgates city.

- If anyone deserved to blow a 9-game lead in September, it's the Red Sox.  Not necessarily because of their current players, but because of Curt Schilling.  I know he retired years ago, but the stench is still there.  He made nonsensical comments the other day about the collapse being "100 percent on the players" but also blaming the general manager.  He has a long history of obnoxiousness, highlighted by his railing against Yankees' players for being on steroids, as if Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz were just eating egg whites and doing burpees in 2004.

Went to Zumba class and Whole Foods together three times per week.

- Jose Reyes won the NL batting title, but not without sacrificing the integrity of the game in the process (first and last time GTOG will ever talk about "the integrity" of anything).  He got a bunt single in the first inning, taking his batting average to .337.  Then, because he's a team-first guy, he asked to be pulled from the game so that he'd end his season ahead of Ryan Braun in the race and put all the pressure on Braun to pass him (Braun went 0-4).  Let's let Reyes explain:

"I said, 'If I go 1-for-1, take me out of the game.  And I did that. If I went 0-for-1, maybe I'm still in the game until I get a hit. ... I wanted to stay in the game, but (Mets fans) have to understand, too, what's going on. They have to feel happy about it if I win the batting title. I do that for the team, for the fans too, because they've been supporting me all the way through. I've (had) throughout my career a lot of ups and downs here with a lot of injuries. One thing I do all the time is give 100 percent on the field."

You see, Mets' fans?  He did it for you, so that you can spend the next week getting teased at work by your friends because Reyes pulled himself from the game.

The only time it's acceptable to sit people in an attempt to reach specific milestones is if there is an organizational decision made to tank games to get the #1 pick.

A GTOG Fantasy: Mario Lemieux's Fantasy Hockey Camp

By Artistry

We're engaged in fevered discussions this morning as we try to figure out how to convince our employers to detail us to Mario Lemieux fantasy camp. If we can just explain that taking a pass from Mario is priceless,* I think we can pull this off. I'm equally confident that we can persuade Lemieux to sit down with us and watch some old highlights. Finesse thinks if we get him tipsy, we could get him to laugh at Jon Casey.

*It's $14,866.00.

GTOG's First Sporadic NFL Power Rankings

By Finesse

What's that?  You want hastily put together power rankings that are just as reliable as any put out by the pundits?  OK!

1. Green Bay Packers.  Sometimes I watch someone do something and think to myself, "Man, that guy knows what he's doing."  And sometimes I watch Aaron Rodgers and think to myself, "Man, that guy knows what he's doing. I hope he doesn't get a concussion."  Rodgers has ascended to not just the best QB in the league, but the best player as well.

2. Baltimore Ravens.  As Steelers' fans, we're dangerously close to allowing our arrogance to blind us from seeing what might be happening -- the Ravens eclipsing the Steelers as the top team in the AFC North.  The success the Steelers have had over the Ravens the past few years has been by the thinnest of margins, measurable only by the distance between Joe Flacco's eyebrows.

3. New England Patriots. Do we all fall into the same trap with the Patriots every year?  They look absolutely unbeatable and then lose high scoring shootouts to fired up teams, exposing the Pats for what they ultimately are: a one-dimensional machine with an incredible QB but no Plan B.  Still, I'm terrified.

4. New Orleans Saints.  Here's what I know:  When the Saints are down 6 at halftime, and you have Drew Brees on your fantasy team, you're excited.  Though they have similar holes as the Pats -- overreliance on the QB, shaky defense -- they actually have a decent running game and a coach that doesn't make you want to commit a homicide.

5. New York Jets. There's a feud brewing between Joe Namath and Rex Ryan.  Namath thinks Ryan hurts the Jets by pumping up his players to have them thinking that they are better than they actually are.  (Namath is right).  Rex Ryan takes offense because Namath is on the "outside."  Gentlemen, just relax, grab a beer, and kick your feet up and talk it out.

Who's next?  Find out after the jump...

6. Houston Texans.  Much like Dancing With The Stars, everyone talks about the Texans.  But even more like Dancing With The Stars, I don't watch.  (Side note: I thought the judges were too harsh on Carson and Anna).

7. Detroit Lions. Before you get too happy for Lions' fans, remember that these are the same people who like the Red Wings.



8. Buffalo Bills.  My 5 non-obvious favorite current athletes: 5) Manu Ginobili; 4) Chris Kunitz; 3) anyone in the process of sacking Tom Brady; 2) Rob Scuderi; 1) Fred Jackson.  I'm as caught up in the Bills fairy tale as the next guy, but I also think it's important that people understand that we are three games into the season.  A few years ago (not looking it up, but if you want to be our stat guy and do it for me, check our Careers page), an unheralded Broncos team started off 7-1ish but then finished 9-7ish and missed the playoffs.  If the Bills go 10-6 and make the playoffs, that's awesome.  I'm rooting for it.

9. Pittsburgh Steelers.  Kudos to Mike Tomlin for consistently moving the goalposts to make it seem like the Steelers accomplish something when they narrowly defeat bad teams.  Tomlin spent the entire week convincing the media that it was huge for the Steelers to get a win against an AFC team on the road in a hostile environment, or as he would put it, "against an AFC opponent in an inhospitable environment no less."  Lost in translation is the fact that the Colts stink.

10. San Diego Chargers.  The sleeping giant?  They have two narrow wins over Minnesota and Kansas City and they were beaten definitively by the Patriots on the road.  But the glass half full approach is this: they stink at the beginning of every season, but instead of being their normal 0-3 or 1-2, they're 2-1.  Lurking.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Josh Freeman is a good quarterback.  Raheem Morris is a good coach.  The Bucs are pretty solid.  Or so I'm told.

12. New York Giants. I watched them defeat the Eagles this week, and I attribute the victory primarily to two things: 1) Vick's concussion; and 2) Nnamdi Asomugha playing like he was Gay Island's ambassador to the U.N.

Nnamdi Asomugha! Nnamdi Asomugha!

13. Dallas Cowboys. They'll probably make the second round of the playoffs and then lose when Tony Romo fumbles while taking a knee in the victory formation with the Cowboys up 6 with 4 seconds left leading to Drew Brees connecting with Robert Meachem on an 84-yard Hail Mary as time expires.

14. Philadelphia Eagles. Last week after he left with a concussion, I promised that I wouldn't brag about calling Mike Vick's $100 million contract a mistake.  And that promise still stands, but I just thought I'd point out that I'm not bragging about it one more time just so you know I'm not bragging about it.  Truthfully, watching him on Sunday was painful.  I don't know what concussion testing there is in the NFL, but let's hope it's A LOT more stringent in Sidney Crosby's case.  Vick was awful.

15. Atlanta Falcons.  Try coming up with something to say about the Falcons that anyone who reads this site will care about.  Seriously.  I dare you.

16. Oakland Raiders. The Raiders haven't been as bad as you think for the past few years.  They will beat you if you don't finish your chances.  That, or they'll blow a 21-0 lead against Buffalo.  Either way, 9-7 (or better) is not out of the question for this team.

17. Tennessee Titans.  This is a rough estimate, but Chris Johnson is currently earning $487,000 per yard this season.  The Titans are a sneaky good team.  The defense is solid and Matt Hasselbeck is not as bad as he's supposed to be.  They come to Heinz Field in Week 5.  That's not a gimmie for the Steelers.

18. Washington Redskins. On MNF, Jon Gruden was waxing poetic about Mike and Kyle Shanahan scripting the first 15 plays of every game.  Is there anything dumber than scripting the first 15 plays of every game?  If play 8 is a fullback dive, but it's third and goal from the 9, do you still run that play?  If not, why even bother scripting the first 15 plays?  This would be like the Bachelor deciding which 20 of the 30 contestants will get the rose on the first night before exploring whether there is a connection at the cocktail party.

The First Impression Rose heard 'round the world.

19. Cleveland Browns. Colt McCoy is developing into a legit quarterback.  At the beginning of the season I picked the Browns to sneak into the last wild card spot at the expense of the Ravens.  That could still happen, but it could be at the expense of a different AFC North team.

20. San Francisco 49ers.  If they had been able to close out the Punctured Lung Game against the Cowboys, they'd be 3-0 and have a magic number of 1 to clinch the NFC West.  They should make the playoffs.  There's only one thing standing in their way.

21. Jacksonville Jaguars.  Blaine Gabbert sounds like the initial suggestion for the name of a new female character on Gossip Girl before the writers settled on Blaine Wilshire.  Blaine Gabbert also sounds like the first starting QB for the Los Angeles To Be Named Laters in 2013.  Snooze Fest City.

22. Carolina Panthers.  Roger Goodell should stop fining players and start fining the Panthers' organization for continuing to employ both Deangelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart.  This is a no-win situation.  Not for Williams, not for Stewart, not for fantasy owners, and definitely not for the Panthers.  Does the league not understand that 99% of the population is rooting for an ACL injury to one of these guys?

23. Chicago Bears. When the best thing you can say about a team's quarterback is that he's a moderately better version of Rex Grossman with a worse personality, the fact that the team is 1-2 sounds about right.

24. Denver Broncos.  For three straight weeks, I've woken up on Monday morning and not remembered whether the Broncos won or lost the previous day.  Tebow-time.

25. Arizona Cardinals. We have it on good authority that when the Cardinals put forward their $60 million offer for Kevin Kolb, he did a double take and started looking for Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew to pop out of the closet.

26. Minnesota Vikings.  Last week we debuted the Leslie Frazier Translator after the Vikes blew their second straight double-digit halftime lead.  So why not dust it off again for the third straight choke job, this time from a 20-0 lead.

Frazier's real quote: One of the things that myself and the coaches have to do is just continue to remind the guys of some of the things they are doing well and get to the meat of the problem, and if we can identify the problem I think we have the right guys in our locker room where we will get it fixed, get it turned around. We need a sense of urgency about getting that done, but if you have the right type of people, character-wise, and they truly believe in what you are trying to get done, you will have a chance of staying together and I think we have the right guys in the locker room where we can stay together.

GTOG Translator: One of things that me and the other coaches have to do is be better coaches.  We've actually identified ourselves as a large part of the problem.  I think we have the right guys in the locker room to turn this around, and I mean that literally because I'm physically not standing in the locker room right now.  Once I go back there, all bets are off.  Actually, I don't believe we have a chance of turning this around, and I don't think we will stay together.  

27. Miami Dolphins.  Best thing about the GTOG Translator is that it applies to everyone.  Let's go to  Dolphins coach Tony Sparano.

Sparano quote: “I can’t explain it.  Well, I can explain. I won’t say I can’t explain it because then you guys will say I can’t explain it. So I will say this: We haven’t played well enough. There’s critical situations that show up in games where you have to make a play."

GTOG Translator: "I can't explain it. No, seriously, I can't. I won't say that I can explain it because then you'd say that I know what I'm doing, but I know no one would believe that.  We haven't played well. Pay me 80% of my remaining salary and I'll quit right now. I promise."

28. St. Louis Rams.  0-3, but with a decent chance of winning the NFC west.

29. Tavaris Jackson.

30. Cincinnati Bengals. If you've ever wondered what it would feel like to watch a running tally of how many children die of famine each year, be a Bengals fan.

Good seats still available.

31. Kansas City Chiefs.  Just when I thought Matt Cassel couldn't be any worse, he goes and throws this game-ending interception ... and totally proves me wrong!  If you're a Chiefs fan, all you can really say at this point is that you hope no one gets hurt.

32. Indianapolis Colts.  Kerry Collins signed with the Colts on August 25th and didn't get injured until Sunday night against the Steelers, thereby exceeding the over/under for when he'd get injured by the entire month of September.  Owner Jim Irsay announced Monday that Peyton Manning probably isn't coming back this season, finally making it official: this Colts' season is a turd waiting to be courtesy flushed.

Thank you, Shaun Suisham.

Wake Up With GTOG: Ron Cook Wonders Why Kerry Collins Might Want $4 Million; Steelers Win 23-20

By Finesse

The Steelers defeated the Colts last night 23-20 on a last-second field goal by Shaun Suisham, narrowly avoiding an inexcusable loss to a team with approximately two good players.  Unfortunately for the Steelers, those two good players are on the Colts defensive line, which means that we're going to make parallels to Jurassic Park.

Steelers Offensive Line.

Freeney. Mathis. Big Ben.

Thankfully for the Steelers, the Colts two worst players are their quarterbacks and the tandem of Kerry Collins and Curtis Painter instilled no fear in anyone not a Colts fan.  Ron Cook takes umbridge umbrage with the fact that Collins is still in the NFL, asking himself regarding Collins signing with the Colts last month, "Did he really need the extra $4 million that badly?"  Um, Ron. It's $4 million.  Maybe he just wanted it.

Regardless of where you stand on Collins' pursuit of capitalism, this much is clear: we still don't know much about the Steelers.  They got blown out by a good team, they crushed a terrible team, and they escaped a bad team's home stadium.  The game at Houston next week should teach us a lot more about this team.  Hopefully we'll like what we learn.

Full reaction to Week 3 coming tomorrow.  Check out our Week 2 reaction here.

[Artistry is out of commission today so we probably won't get his full recap.  Via email, he offers the following unedited analysis: "For any Steelers post, 3 takeaways: we've been too easy on Jon Scott, the d let Curtis Painter go 80 yards in 2 mins late in the 4th q, and it's only one game, don't panic. Unless we have to go with that O-line configuration again. Then panic."]

GTOG Investigates: Ted Leonsis's War on Counting?

By Finesse

It's a slow news day so let's do precisely what Ted Leonsis laments: Generate Pixels. Clicks. Page Views. Noise.

Hair gel.

On Tuesday, September 20th, the Washington Capitals hosted the Nashville Predators in their preseason debut at 1st Mariner Arena in something called the "Baltimore Hockey Classic."  The Caps lost 2-0.  It was the first professional ice hockey game in Baltimore since 1997.

But who went?  More importantly, how many people went?  And even more importantly, was it a sellout?

According to the Washington Post, the Associated Press, and the No Idea Where Herald-Mail, there was an announced crowd of 11,082.  That's consistency.

But what isn't consistent is the discussion of whether this crowd was a sellout crowd, and even Ted Leonsis, a man who nitpicks like no other, seems confused.  Let's examine.

In an absolutely Classic Ted post recapping the game, Leonsis writes:

Game is done; we lived and we learned. The fans had a great time; at a near sold out arena; the people in Baltimore were really terrific to work with; the ice could have been better as noted in this article. But - no complaints - we move on and head now into our season; thanks for the support. Go Caps!

[Side note: Ted is so good at complaining while saying that he isn't complaining, that he reversed the order from the usual "no complaints, but" to "[complaint], but no complaints."  Ted, you probably threw some people off the scent with that, but not GTOG].

However, in a post this morning titled "Sell Out," Ted ups the stakes, writing:

We sell out preseason games in Baltimore.

Hmmm.  So on September 21st the game was a "near" sellout, but on September 23rd, the game was a "sell out?"  Interesting pivot there, Ted, so let's investigate further.

- The Washington Post recap mentions the announced crowd of 11,082, but does not indicate whether that is a sellout.  Great work!

- The Hagerstown Herald-Mail, also known as the Those Outlets On The Way To Breezewood Herald-Mail, reports "a sellout crowd of an announced 11,082 fans." [This is the same story that appeared in the Baltimore Sun]. Put one in the box for Ted.

But not so fast.

- The Associated Press story on the Caps' own website reports, "the game drew a near-sellout crowd of 11,082 - even though ticket prices ranged from $34 to $147." (Fan friendly pricing, Ted!)

- The Predators/Capitals summary from NHL.com lists attendance at the following: "A-11,082 (11,286)." For the uninitiated, the number in the parentheses is the capacity. As Shakespeare once wrote, "11,082 doth not equal 11,286."

- The 1st Mariner Arena Wikipedia page lists the capacity attendance for hockey as 11,286.  Obviously Wikipedia is not an unimpeachable source, but we're also pretty sure that it didn't change that number between September 21st and September 23rd.  Oh, and it matches the number from NHL.com.

- The Baltimorehockeyclassic.com webpage, albeit not updated since June 23rd, says "First Mariner Arena holds a little more than 12,000 fans for hockey. Promoters expect the game to sell out by July." I believe it was Abraham who said, "Thou shalt not equate 11,082 with a little more than 12,000."

Coached the Baltimore Clippers in 1971-72.

- Still stuck on the Herald-Mail article?  Just read further where it says, "There were a number of empty seats, but both curious Charm City sports fans and die-hard puck lovers crowded the concourse before the event."  This fits with eyewitness accounts describing "hundreds" of empty seats, and even entire sections closed off.

- Of course, empty seats doesn't mean that those seats weren't sold ... but to whom were they sold?  Would hundreds of people buy tickets to a once-every-14-years event and then not go?  Maybe.  Or would an owner who wanted his game to be "sold out" purchase unsold tickets so that he could say it was a sellout?  Maybe.

Here's the bottom line.  We don't really know whether this was a "sellout." Maybe it was.  But even Ted seems like he doesn't know for sure.  So why would he write "We sell out preseason games in Baltimore?"  Pixels? Clicks? Page views? Ticket sales?

Not that we're complaining.

Thank you.

GTOG Podcast: Impressions of Pens Camp, the Steelers, and Big Ben's Faith Rankings

In this week's podcast, we hit on the Pens, the NHL, the Steelers, Big Ben's faith, and even the Republican debate (though we edited that entire part out).  Take a spin (and subscribe on iTunes).

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The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want to run that play

GTOPG: Geno Wins Preseason Conn Smythe; Pens Clip Wings, 3-2

By Artistry

Watching preseason hockey is usually a lot like watching The Bachelorette. It's painful, but we can't help it. Last night was different. It was as if after blacking out for two years since winning the Stanley Cup and playoff MVP, Evgeni Malkin suddenly regained consciousness. And of course it's never not gratifying to beat Detroit.

- Everyone is buzzing this morning about Geno's dazzling performance with the puck - and the 360 degree spin and blind dish to a streaking Kris Letang was ridiculous - but don't ignore the clearest indication that he's back to his old self: it's what he did defensively. Malkin is back in "You can't have the puck because it's mine" mode, forcing turnovers and outright stripping guys naked out there. That's what makes him a holy terror. This may be the year he surpasses Pavel Datsyuk and leads the league in takeaways. It's not fair that we haven't had more time to enjoy Crosby, Malkin, and Staal together and at their best. But it would be really unfair to the rest of the league if we did.


Pondering just how unfair things should be.

- If and when Sid returns, it's time to split up Crosby and Malkin on the power pay. Geno is much more effective when everything flows through him. Don't buy the notion that either center would feel slighted by being stuck on the second unit. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Does Geno feel sligted because he centers the second line at even strength? This is worth a shot. I tink we can all agree the power play can't get worse.

- Joe Morrow completely outclassed every defenseman not named Letang or Martin last night. Very fluid and confident. Geno really put his finger on it when he said, "Great defenseman. Great skater." We really couldn't be more excited to follow Geno on Twitter.

- Don't be fooled by the fact that Matt Niskanen showed up on the scoresheet. He gives the puck away in his own zone about 17 times each game. Give us Lovejoy and Engelland with Picard as a 7th defenseman.

- We're looking at quite a logjam on the 3rd and 4th lines. Malkin, Kunitz, Neal, Staal, Kennedy, Sullivan, Dupuis, Cooke, and Adams are playing every night. That leaves 3 slots and 6 candidates - Letestu, Jeffrey (when healthy, he may be a lock), Asham, Park, Tangradi, and MacIntyre - to fill them. And that's before Sid comes back. Anyone still want to argue Max Talbot wouldn't be healthy scratch material on this team? Richard Park is not going away.

- Bob Errey weighed in last night on the idea of two lions eating a hippo: "Why am I laughing? Poor hippopatomus!"  It's good to be back.

- Follow us on Twitter.

Best Hockey Video or Best Video, Period?

By GTOG Staff

We spent way too much time this afternoon surfing YouTube. Nothing got done, yet so much was accomplished. We found this.



Scotty Bowman with the money quote at 14:48: "He had a lot of Finesse." Yes. Yes, he did.

Largely Hypothetical Penguins Prospect Profile: Tom Kühnhackl

By Artistry

Pens prospect Tommy Kühnhackl has a lot of things going against him. For one thing, he's an undersized scoring winger with allegedly questionable conditioning. For another, he's got one of those names where you're supposed to put two dots over the "u," but do you know how to make that happen without copying and pasting it from somewhere? We don't. Guys with a ü or an ö in their name tend to be overhyped (see Fabian Brunnström). We're not falling into that trap.

The Good German?

Third, Tommy Kühnhackl is a German. How many forwards from that country have edged their way into your consciousness? Marco Sturm, Jochen Hecht, and Marcel Goc. That's basically the list. Oh, Sven Butenschon is also German. Germans tend to suck at hockey. It's just a fact. What are you going to do about it, Germans?



So the odds would not appear to be in Kühnhackl's favor. Until you look deeper. We've never heard of the guy, but apparently Tommy's dad was at one time Germany's answer to Mario Lemieux. Erich Kühnhackl was a 6'5" giant whose nickname was "Wardrobe on Skates." We don't even know what that means, but we're impressed. Clearly, the kid's got good genes. He's currently listed at 6'2", 172 pounds. Get him in a room with Mike Kadar, let him eat like 19-year-olds tend to do, and he'll fill out that frame in no time. The skills are already there. Tommy tore up the OHL last year with 39 goals in 63 games. He's a sniper with legitimate top 6 potential.

We're going on the record here. If anyone is going to overcome being a German named Tommy Kühnhackl, it's probably going to be Tommy Kühnhackl from Germany.

In case you missed our earlier prospect profiles, you can find them here:

Simon Despres
Kevin Veilleux
Dominik Uher
Beau Bennett

Don't miss out. Follow us on Twitter.

Pens to Host Wings in Preseason Opener; We Get Inordinately Excited

By Artistry

It's the preseason, Richard Park is dominating the proceedings, and Steve Sullivan already tweaked his groin, but we don't care. There's a hockey game tonight, baby! Here are your watered down lineups. Look for Dan Bylsma to ease Geno Malkin back into action by matching his line against the likes of Corey Emmerton and our old friend Chris Conner.

May Play Naked to Make This Challenging

Check back in the morning for our report on the game and later this afternoon for another Largely Hypothetical Pens Prospect Profile. LGP. GTOG.

GTOG Goes Around The NFL

By Finesse

Week 2 in the NFL is always critical because when it's over everyone says "It's too early to make judgments."  With that said, let's make some judgments.

[NOTE: we are going to be ramping up our NFL coverage this year, so spread the word.  And follow us on Twitter.]

Detroit 48, Kansas City 3:  Every year in the NFL, there are at least 3 teams that are completely and totally irrelevant.  This year, there are about 12 of these teams, and Kansas City is front and center.  What a debacle.  First, they lose Tony Moeaki to an ACL tear.  Then, they lose Eric Berry to an ACL tear.  Then, they lose Jamaal Charles to an ACL tear.  Then, you remember that they were irrelevant and likely to be really bad even before they lost those three guys.  Not a recipe for success.  Detroit, on the other hand, is getting dangerously close to doing something that no one ever thought possible -- making Thanksgiving Day football interesting.  We like this development.

Was listed as "questionable" to return despite near on-field leg amputation.

Buffalo 38, Oakland 35:  In our AFC preview, we gave Ryan Fitzpatrick the coveted "Would cheat off of but not draft in fantasy" tag.  We'd like to officially change that to "Would cheat off of and would like to have on our fantasy team until it gets freezing cold in Buffalo in mid-October."  We'd also be remiss if we didn't acknowledge Denarius Moore's enormous game and highlight reel catches.  Will he be an extreme disappointment to all the fantasy owners who rush to get him on waivers this week?  Yes, yes he will.

Tampa Bay 24, Minnesota 20: When a team blows a 17-0 lead, there is a lot of analysis that can be done.  We're not going to do that analysis.  Instead, we're going to throw Vikings' coach Leslie Frazier's words into the GTOG Translator:

Frazier: "My only words to our fans are be patient. We’re going to get there. I have great belief that we will.”

GTOG Translator: "While I'm only in my first season as the full-time head coach of the Vikings, I realize that this thing is going off the rails and I might get fired.  I'm begging the fans not to buy billboards asking for a new coach.  Please don't do that.  I think we might get moderately better.  Yes, I'll have to bench Donovan McNabb in order for that to happen.  I have great belief that I will do that at some point."

"You're the next one, Donovan. You carry the torch for all washed up QBs."

Explore the rest of the NFL after the jump...

New Orleans 30, Chicago 13:  At one point in this game, Darren Sproles stepped out of bounds before reaching the end zone but "the booth" blew the call and didn't buzz the ref in time.  This caused much consternation amongst the pundits, but not amongst anyone who owns Drew Brees in fantasy.  And there are a lot more Brees owners than there are Peter Kings.  What you should take away from this game is that Drew Brees is an absolute machine.  Don't sleep on the Saints.

Tennessee 26, Baltimore 13:  Three things: 1) Every time you think Joe Flacco isn't Joe Flacco anymore, he plays a game that reminds you that he is still Joe Flacco;  2) Chris Johnson/Javon Ringer is the new LaDanian Tomlinson/Michael Turner; 3) I don't care if Nate Washington had 99 receiving yards for the Titans -- Kevin Colbert has a good laugh at least once a week over the $27 million contract he received from Tennessee.

Cleveland 27, Indianapolis 19: When the Red Zone channel flashed to this game, all Artistry and I could do was send out our #thoughtsandprayers to the poor Colts fans.  It's tough to face the realization in Week 1 that you're probably going 2-14.  It's even tougher to face the realization in Week 2 that you're probably going 1-15 and your 35-year old $90 million quarterback clandestinely flew to Europe to have fat cells from his thighs injected into his neck.  And it didn't work.

"Let's see how much we suck from all different angles."

NY Jets 32, Jacksonville 3: The Jets didn't lose this game, but you have to give Mark Sanchez credit for trying.  With respect to the Jags, we asked this question on Twitter but it's worth repeating: If you could have drafted "the defense playing against Luke McCown" as your fantasy defense for the entire season, would you have picked that defense first overall, or just in the top-5?

Washington 22, Arizona 21:  On a paper in 6th grade, Rex Grossman answered the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" by writing, "A mediocre quarterback who makes twice as many mistakes as good plays but is still capable of leading his team to the occasional game-winning drive against bad teams."  The Skins just might mediocre their way to 10-6 and a wild card.

Green Bay 30, Carolina 23:  Let's go ESPN Talking Head on this one: "You look at a guy like Cam Newton, a rookie at that, and you're talking about a guy who has over 400 yards in his first two games.  In the pocket, out of the pocket, he's making all the throws you need to make to succeed at this level in the National Football League.  You wanna talk about making a statement."

Dallas 27, San Francisco 24 (OT): I firmly believe that Tony Romo wakes up every day and says to himself, "I've had intercourse with 90% of the blond women in Texas, I make millions of dollars, and I'm actually a pretty good quarterback.  So no matter how many times #QBsBetterThanRomo is trending on Twitter, I'm going to work with a smile on my face."  Romo threw for 345 yards with a punctured lung and led his team to a critical comeback win over Alex Smith's 49ers.  We'd say they are Frank Gore's 49ers, but we're not sure whether he's still in the NFL.

Same face she made when she found out about Carrie Underwood.  And then Candice Crawford.

New England 35, San Diego 21: Think back to late September of 2007 when you first heard the whispers that the Patriots had a shot at 16-0.  Think about how they toyed with their opponents, how they put up points at will, and how TV and radio personalities fawned all over themselves.  Think about how this made you want to hang yourself upside down and vomit on your own face.  Now fast forward to September 2011 and ask someone to hold your feet.

Houston 23, Miami 13: I swear that one day I will watch a Texans' game.  I just can't promise when that will be.

Denver 24, Cincinnati 22:  This game is like a debate between Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman: it doesn't matter what the focus groups say afterwards, there really are no winners.

"Yes, I'm still the coach. And no, I don't believe it either."

Atlanta 35, Philadelphia 31: Michael Vick left this game in the 3rd quarter with a concussion and blood in his saliva.  It's way too early for me to gloat about calling his recent $100 million contract a mistake, but I'm just going to put that on your radar.  He is a great player and in a league where everyone is freakishly athletic, Vick stands out -- he looks ridiculously fast and graceful every time he's running.  He even makes hanging dogs look effortless.  The problem is that he's prone to get crunched like one of those big cicadas that come into your house in the summer.  This may not end well.

NY Giants 28, St. Louis 16: It's difficult to find meaning in this loss for the Rams because everyone else in their division also lost.  The Rams play San Francisco in Week 17.  Can we just call that the 7-9 Bowl and skip the rest of their season?

GTOPG: Steelers Dominate; We Wonder Why We Didn't Bet This Game

By Artistry

This was all very predictable. The 24-0 win (we predicted 29-3), Ron Cook following the win with a column praising the defense's "Golden Oldies" with no acknowledgment that the Seahawks are horrendous, and Ben Roethlisberger taking numerous vicious shots, staying in the game, then turning to face the camera as he stepped gingerly down the stairs to the locker room at halftime. Like clockwork, every bit of it. And, ultimately, it means as little in the context of an entire season as last weekend's embarrassment in Baltimore. In case you missed this, your Opening Day Super Bowl champion Ravens just got handled by Elisabeth Hasslebeck's brother-in-law. 

- Everybody is 1-1 here in AFC Central, and it's just as pointless to prognosticate about where we go from here as it was last week. Why? Mostly because we don't even know who's going to be walking in two weeks let alone playing. Two guys on the offensive line* went down last week, Brett Keisel got banged up against Seattle, and we've already entered Big Ben "I just need to play through the pain" territory. Ligaments are not being treated with respect out there, and we're sure people didn't stretch properly during the lockout. Dez Bryant is out with a quad. Stephen Jackson also has a quad. Reportedly, Santonio Holmes is dealing with a quad. And these are just the quads! Michael Vick is spitting up blood. Felix Jones has a shoulder. According to the Kansas City Chiefs, Jamaal Charles was "questionable" to return yesterday with what looked like a severed leg. It's rough all around, I'm telling you.


One of the best quads in the league

 - Fortunately, our quarterback is built like an oak tree. You really might need to remove Ben's legs to get him off the field, and even then, one suspects you'd find his torso back in the huddle after missing a single play. Then he would complete a pass and inch up the field, shaking his throwing hand and grimacing, momentarily distracting observers from the larger issue of him having no legs.

- The Steelers hit a fair amount of check-down passes. "It just proves that our guys can get it done even when you give them the ball short; you don't have to go deep every time." No you don't, but nor should you feel compelled to draw up multiple screen passes for Hines Ward every game. He's not exactly showing a lot of burst out of the gate these days. We still love him as a red zone option or a safety valve between the numbers, but are the Steelers obligated to get him the ball behind the line of scrimmage? Apparently, yes. A source provided GTOG with Ward's contract, which provides in pertinent part:

Section 7.1.4. Two (2) Mandatory Screen Passes: Club agrees that at least twice per game, with the first attempt coming no later than 25 minutes into the first half, Club's designated Quarterback must throw a wide receiver screen pass to Player. A "wide receiver screen pass" is defined as a pass to Player that is completed either at or behind the line of scrimmage and has less than a 5% chance of resulting in a first down. Such passes must be made regardless of the game situation, defensive coverage, or anticipated effectiveness. Club agrees that if the attempts are incomplete, Club will re-attempt said screen passes until two (2) are completed, regardless of whether Player or Quarterback is at fault for the pass being incomplete. If the pass is completed and results in a net gain of less than 2 yards, Club agrees that it will publicly deem such pass a "successful attempt to counter the defense's pass rush" whether or not the completion has any mitigating effect on opponent's pass rush. This provision must remain confidential at all times.

There you go.


Always sees the humor in 2nd-and-11

- If Willie Colon could stop incurring season-ending tricep popping and Achilles bursting injuries, we believe Rashard Mendenhall would be a much more effective running back, and perhaps the Steelers' offensive line** wouldn't be dominated by teams such as the Seahawks on the goal line. Willie Colon couldn't be on steroids, could he? Did I say that out loud?

- William Gay, credit where it's due. Granted, you weren't facing the Packers offense out there, but no Seahawk shall henceforth take for granted a relaxing stay on Gay Island. Also, early indications are the best deal the Steelers made this off-season was the one they made with Ike Taylor.

- Daniel Sepulveda. What a weapon.


Did someone say "weapon?"

- The Kerry Collins Colts don't scare anybody, but it's loud in that stadium, and Trai Essex had about 27 false starts last time the Steelers played in Indy. So beware. That's going to be Dwight Freeney coming off the edge and accidentally on purpose taking out Ben's knees on Sunday night. Still, the prediction is Steelers 28, Colts 17. And we're not betting this one either.

*Band of Brothers
**Band of Brothers

Wake Up With GTOG: Steelers Win 24-0

By Finesse

We'd have a comment on the performance of the Steelers' defense, but we watched the game on the Red Zone channel so we never saw it.  The Ravens lost, the Bungles Bungled, and the Browns won so despite the beatdown in Week 1, the Steelers are in first place.

[Ben Roethlisberger]: Now, you listen to me. We all have a destiny. Nothing just happens. It's all part of a plan! I should have died out there with my men, but now, I'm nothing but a goddamn cripple! A legless freak! Look! Look! Look at me! Do you see that? Do you know what it's like not to be able to use your legs?
Forrest Gump: Ye-yes, sir, I do.
[Ben Roethlisberger]: Did you hear what I said? You cheated me! I had a destiny. I was supposed to die in the field with honor! That was my destiny, and you cheated me out of it! You understand what I'm saying, Gump? This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. I had a destiny. I was [Big Ben]. 

Pitt Sees Writing on the Wall, Likely Headed to the ACC

By Finesse

Depending on what you're reading, Pitt's move to the ACC is either confirmed or a very very strong rumor.  [Update: Definitely confirmed.]  It's regrettable that the Big East is going in this direction, but if the move goes through, Pitt AD Steve Pederson should be applauded for being proactive.

For a school like Pitt that is competitive in both football and basketball, the current state of the Big East is unacceptable.  The basketball is incredible, but the football is abysmal.  Pitt is situated in an absolute hotbed of football recruits, but why would any of the best ones want to go to Pitt to play against Connecticut, Rutgers, South Florida when they could go to Penn State, Michigan, or The Ohio State Corporation?  ACC football isn't great, but it's better than the Big East.  And the Big East has built itself into a league that has no choice but to shrink -- it can't go poach a Maryland or North Carolina from the ACC because there is simply no room to bring them into an already too-big 16 team basketball conference.  As awesome as Big East basketball has been for the past few years, bringing in Louisville, South Florida, Depaul, etc. may ultimately mean the demise of the conference as we know it.

"I'll still have the best basketball-coach-hair in the ACC, so I don't really care."

It will be unfortunate to watch the Big East dissolve into a true (almost) basketball-only league.  (There is no way that West Virginia football can stay in the Big East without Pitt.  The ACC should welcome the Mountaineers with open arms).  But this is a necessary move for the Panthers.  Pitt, to even the most ardent supporter, is not a driver on the college sports landscape.  It's not Texas or Oklahoma.  Those are the dominoes -- Pitt is just the collateral damage.

So while it will be tough to watch Pitt (and Syracuse, which is also reported to be moving to the ACC) have to pay lip service to the already self-congratulatory "Tobacco Road" contingency, this is a move of necessity.  The train was leaving the station -- kudos to Pederson for hopping on before it was too late.

Defending 'Goon' From Fake Outrage and Hyper-Sensitivity

By Finesse

The Internet has empowered people to do a lot of things that they were unable to do before.  Before the Internet, for example, Artistry and I used to use U.S. Mail to send each other our thoughts on the Bachelor.  Different times back then.  Unfortunately, it appears that the Internet has morphed into a forum where a battalion of Sensitivity Czars have been self-deputized to patrol popular culture looking for anything that could possibly be construed as insensitive to some group of people.  And once the offending words or actions are uncovered, the Czar will immediately turn to his or her outlet -- usually Twitter -- to do at least one of three things:

Give me a moment to get up here .... Ok, thanks.

1) Patronizingly call out the alleged offender(s) by saying something to the effect of, "People, how about showing some class?" or "Folks, how about showing some class?" or "Come on guys, how about showing some class?"

2) Turn up his or her own outrage/sadness/disappointment meter to astronomical levels.  This usually turns in to a contest between Czars over who can be the most sad about a tragedy or who can be the most shocked and outraged when someone else does something inappropriate.  The contest will play out on Twitter with tweets such as, "There are no words to describe how I'm feeling right now.  I'm literally shaking" or "People, how about showing some class?"  It's also common to see someone quote the tweet containing the news of the tragedy and adding insightful commentary such as "disgusting" or "awful" or "how disgusting" or "how awful" or, simply, "no words."

Proper use of "no words"

3) Prejudge things that they think will be inappropriate because much like reporters seeking to break news, there is a race to be first with outrage.  This is dangerous.  And it brings us to a particularly concerning example from SB Nation.

[On a side note, maybe Twitter is just the wrong vehicle to express emotion.  Maybe, you know, find another live human being to do that with (or do a podcast about the Bachelor).  But if you want to say something funny or tell the world that Mark Letestu is a last minute scratch from the Pens lineup, please tweet it.]

Read on for the defense of Goon...

If you've been following our site the past few weeks, then you know that we went to see the premiere of the hockey comedy Goon in Toronto last week.  Goon is a hockey comedy about an enforcer (Sean William Scott) who is signed by a minor league team for pretty much one purpose -- to fight.  It's an R-rated comedy: there are jokes about sex, drugs, sex addiction, drug addiction and concussions.  It's funny.

But not to everyone, including people who haven't even seen it.  Travis Hughes, the founder of the Broad Street Hockey blog about the Flyers and the hockey editor for SB Nation, takes aim at the Goon trailer as he feels that the movie might "glorify" fighting and what he admits is an unproven link to drug abuse.  After watching this trailer ....



... he writes:

The one line that obviously stands out in the trailer, especially if you've been following the tragedy in hockey this summer with a watchful eye: "I'm high on painkillers!" ... in a scene that involves heavy drinking. That's enough to make everybody that's ever heard Boogaard's story more than uncomfortable. 

The trailer clearly illustrates a film that glorifies fighting in hockey and their lifestyle ...
...
We only have bits and pieces of this film to go off of at this point, of course, so it's too soon to make judgments. We don't know if they address the serious problems that plague these men, or if they choose to only glorify them instead. 

Maybe I'm increasingly sensitive because I've been writing about death for the last several months, but the Goon movie trailer was extremely disconcerting to me when I first saw it Tuesday morning on Reddit. It'll get me to see the movie, so maybe the job has already been done, but I'm not going to be watching it because I think it'll be entertaining.

The first question to ask is why would you go to the movie if you don't think it will be entertaining?  To be outraged, of course!!

Three hockey enforcers have died this offseason and there have been numerous enforcers who have died prematurely over the past several years.  That's not a good thing.  But their deaths should not be used as an excuse to launch a moral assault on making jokes.  It's not like Goon makes jokes about specific people --  you won't hear S.W.S. say, "Haha, wasn't it funny when Derek Boogaard was addicted to drugs?!?!" because that isn't funny.  But creating a fictional character who mimics real-life problems and turns them into funny on-screen scenarios is what movies are all about.

Glorified fighting.

This problem is bigger than just Travis Hughes, so we don't mean to single him out.  The vast army of Morality and Sensitivity Police are on a crusade to turn popular culture into a world of absolutes -- either you're shocked and outraged by something, or you're the source of the shock and outrage.  To the MSP, there is no in-between.  But why can't Sidney Crosby's concussion be a serious call to action in real life while we simultaneously laugh at concussion jokes in Goon?  Oh, because that would require people to recognize nuance and distinguish between reality and fiction.  Too much to ask, sorry to bring it up.

Not funny (to us).

This is something that is far bigger than sports blogs -- at any given moment there is a headline on CNN.com that "[Politician X's] comment raises eyebrows" or "[XYZ Group] demands apology from ____."  Every day it's the same thing.  Obviously we aren't the first people to point this out, but it's spiraling out of control.  Just know that GTOG refuses to go down with the ship.  We won't be shocked.  We won't be outraged.  And we won't participate in the race to be the most sad about something.

We suggest that everyone do the same.  And then go punch each other in the head repeatedly.  Just kidding. Sort of.